Am I a mother or like a chicken being controlled over law?

           Those every past years moment I seen my daughters by requesting through other people like my mom to have rights to see them but feeling failures everytime I am planning to have them moments to show them around the reality is something for me that I cannot just let intruders to walk around us just to keep ruining the plans and making a joke actions or interferring in a scene views that isn't part of the moves as I'm still understanding how my kids are growing and needs to expand more to their existence which I think they are really precious babies to be acted around with people on sight, by means it's very sensitive for them to be around that it ruined off my move when I was trying to show them the reality but I'm too weak to act around them that I wish it's just me and two of them around or us only in the meeting without other strangers that way it can be easily shows the real family matter going on in midyears blue moon of a mother and yes that is me as I been always trying to express out but people like my step-dad,mom nor my in-laws are kind of way over blinded from how they don't get to see my role and if it's safe around to let them be the higher stronger people to keep listening with and just keep showing respect but no way, I can't just let myself being judge by them spitting out their ugly words or evil way of talking to me ,something for me to notice too in my standard that I cannot just accept if it's a bad thing, right? If teachers mistaken me that if I still feel like those years of being a student is that I want to still catch up to learn and ask them advices of dealing over hard people to get along with that an example of an individual family like us , in copping's residence, that if I may mistakenly in tough hard situation to handle how I am saying to fix my family and put them on family counselling so for them to come closer and learn up a good getting-along with each other to fix the problem about our family which seem to not understand each other while I feel like the starring in the middle when there has to be some bad personalities about the older parents to keep letting them be heard when it feels like a strange war feeling defensive which is an abuse the way I think over them that's why I'm in control of how to make them just shut their mouth when I wanted to just be everything quite and teach them to shut their mouth because it's not nice in a views to make me act like the nicest child or good part of the whole family that if I'm mistaken to see myself that if my role is being notice or just let them treat me like a stranger dog for them to just kick outta home easy which it feels like I'm really more and more defeated everytime I hear them talking shits that aren't nice if I always feel like I don't have rights to be part and as suppose to be peacefully living home the same like the way of life-continues from back home in the Philippine home. Eka nga, as I am saying if I'm proving myself to be known as a mother, that based on from my true knowledge and skills to get notice and also to be respected the way of how I respect people, that if am I being fooled out in the scene and being the one to have a low calm understanding to keep listening to an older people that not knowing if I'm being surrounded by evil people to notice and see through behind the scene that there sorta a foul movements showing off in-lack of capability to fix what's right to happen that if I'm mistaken to wrongfully not listen nor look at other's standard compare to my standard as only known out to be just a student from the beginning than knowing there is a chef standard nor forklift standard who been acting to see their roles at home while honestly, there is a smartest person in the views who should be the one to follow, isn't it? Eka nga, it doesn't seem to be fair for my daughters existence and their growth that isn't shown nor guided by the parents. This family have been being controlled and defeated over by laws in Canada that if I'm mistaken to say, am I letting myself being judge bad like in Jesus or bible learning that Jesus walked through in a crowd of people even if he was being making fun of and being pointed fingers of evil people laughing at him when he suffered walking the line, carrying his cross on his crucification happening.

I'm saying that I can't fight for myself because thinking there is a scary 911 for every people to call if there is even just a little of no understanding, either being offended nor feel insulted. It's a scary reason for me that I can't defeat myself. Sadly, there's a lot of pretence bad feeling to pray that somebody must be in a respected stronger position so people will idolize nor see in a way of being equal only and not to let a people keep defeating it's own growth that really, somebody?

New song dedication: "Do Right by Mario"